Mac Taylor, Stella Bonasera and their kids
by Anna1988
Summary: Mac Taylor, Stella Bonasera and the kids have to recover after almost losing stella. Mac relives their life while she is in the hospital.
1. Relieving Part 1

Stella was lying in a hospital bed at Angel of Mercy. She was beaten pretty badly and was now in sleeping and drugged with medicine which would make her sleep for at least a day to help her recovery and allow her to rest. Mac was sitting at her side stroking her face, her hair and her arm and hand. He sat their holding her hand hopping that the beating would not cause her night mares as did a lot of other things they have been through. He had also made sure that she was protected by police officers around the clock and that the kids could stay with Danny and Lindsay for the time being so that they would be traumatized and that it would not have a bad impact on them. She had been beaten up while she was trying to arrest a high profile drung dealer. But she was surprised by the drug dealers gang who really beat her up. The doctors had said the she would physically be all right as soon as the wounds have healed. And that they would give her sleeping medicine, when the current one worn off, once or twice again for 24 hours each, but after that they hope that she has had enough rest to get through the rest and the her body has recovered well enough to keep healing properly on her own.

While Mac was sitting at Stella´s bed he in his mind went through the last 17 years and started to relive and recall everything they have been through. Stella and Mac have been in a relationship since 1996 and have been married since 1997. Their relationship has improved over the last 17 years and they have grown with their relationship. They and their children became a happy family. Mac has always had the intent of protecting Stella and their children but one time, when Stella was kidnapped, he was not able to protect her and after she was rescued he started to blame himself for everything that probably has happened to her. In his mind he starts to think of a present for his beloved wife Stella, which he can give to her for her 45th Birthday. But on the other side it is a excuse present too, because he could not protect her from the bad. He also wonders how he and his six children would have lived on without their mother and wife if something bad had happened to Stella.

He relives the hard times they have been through as a couple and as parents, like the appendices' of their two oldest children and the broken leg of their third child or normal flue sicknesses and other broken bones and sicknesses. Their children have grown to become pretty and smart children and were just adorable. He also remembered how much Stella and he himself have been through, like search for Stella biological parents in 1998 and their denying reaction to Stella´s wish of contact in 1998 and the reconnection with her foster parents Andrew and Caroline in 1999 as well as her sister Sophie´s accident in 2000 and everything bad that has happened to her before she came to their lovely family in 1976, the working up of her childhood in foster care during a therapy in 2001 and the overcoming of her having a pretty bad infection in 2002. 2003 she was in real bad situation as he was asked to help the marines and had to leave the states for a few weeks. Her being thrown down a flight of stairs in 2007 by a member of the Greek consulate and them traveling to Greece to find out what all the things mean and what kind of connection the professor really has to Stella. In 2008 and them losing a child, which had died of sudden infant death in 2010 when she was 3 months old.

He also remembered her being shot at during a case in 2004 and how she suspected being infected with HIV after she had touched the infected blood of a victim in 2006. How she had suffered, and still does, after the death of her foster sister during a car accident in 2009 and after Aiden Burns death in 2005. She never forgave herself for not protecting Aiden when she needed her the most after she had lost her job because of a rapist case. How he accused of throwing a suspect from a building in 2006, Sheldon being charged with murder in 2006 and Danny´s brother being beat up in 2006.

In his mind all the other things were still there, too. Lindsey testifying at the trial, of her friend's murderer, in 2007. Flack being blown up in an explosion in 2007 and Angell´s death in 2008

And then in his mind he always returned his thoughts to the kidnapping incident that happened this year, just a few weeks ago. Then there had been incidents in 2011 and 2012 where Stella was once stalked by a Stalker in 2011 and was once arrested for attempted murder and was released after a few days in 2012. Turns out her biological parents planted the evidence to make sure Stella was arrested for the attack on her foster mother. Her foster parents always said, that she was innocent and never believed that she did it but still the incident haunted her and led to nightmares, because of the things that had happened in jail.

**1998**

Stella is pregnant with her and Mac´s first child but in her thoughts she is not with her baby. She is with her biological parents who gave her away shortly after she was born 1968 and never cared to have contact with her. Now she knew where they lived and wanted to go visit her parents and wanted to ask them, why they gave her away. But she needs Mac to go with her, just in case it does not go well. So when he comes home from his shift in the Crime lab she asks him if he will accompny her.

"Home"

"In the bedroom honey." Mac comes upstairs and enters the master bedroom and sees Stella looking at a piece of paper crying.

"What is the matter? Who´s adress is that?" He wrapped his arm around her.

"It is the adress of my biological parents. The live in white plains. I looked them up at the lab because I want to know why they gave me away. What did I do that they had to give me away?"

"Stella I do not know why they gave you away. But I do know that I love you and that you had loving parents at some time and that they still love you." He pulled her into a reassuring hug.

"I still need to know Mac." Stella said pleading. Mac looked at Stella and their eyes locked. He saw fear and pain. He knew that she needed to know but he wanted her to rest because the baby would come in a few weeks he wanted her to wait till the baby was there. But he also knew that Stella could not give birth without knowing.

"Stella why don´t you rest and go to bed. You look tired and exhausted and you need to take care of yourself and the baby." Stella shook her head in deniance. "No! i´m not going to bed. Not yet."

"Stella look at yourself you are exhausted and tired and hurt. What can I do to make you feel better and make you go to bed?" Stella handed Mac the adress and then slowly looked up at him and said. "I want to know why? I want to know why they did not want me." Mac realised that she would not be good until she knew why and that is why he said. "I will go with you tomorrow. But now go to sleep and get some rest my beautiful. I love you Stella." "I love you, too Mac."

The next day Stella and Mac where on their way to White Plains and Stella was looking out of the window and deep in thoughts. She did not hear Mac when he asked her if she is alright. Shortly after they got onto the Parkway he stoped at a Rest Area and got out of the car. He went around the car opened the door of passenger side and took Stellas hands in his and slowly talked to her. "Stella sweetheart look at me." She did not respond nor did she move. He took one of his hands and gently gave her shoulder a little squeeze after she looked at him with pain and fear in her eyes. "Stella talk to me."

"Mac I´m afraid of their reaction." He gently cupped her face with one his hand never letting go of her hands and said. "Sweetheart you are not alone. And remember no matter how they react I still love and so will your foster parents. We will never stop loving you. Do you hear me, NEVER!"

She looked at him and nodded. He closed the door at got back in to the car. After he started to car Stella took his right hand into her lap and both of her hands held on to it tightly like making sure that he would not leave her. After a few minutes Stella was asleep in the passenger seat. 15 Minutes later they pulled up the driveway of the adress and Mac got out of the car and helped Stella out of the car, too. Stella was like in trance and they went up to the front door. Stella was still holding Mac´s right hand with her hands and he put the left arm around her shoulders as if to protect her. When the owners opened the door, Mac pulled out his NYPD identity and the woman led them into the living room. Mac and Stella sat down across from the woman on the couch and then Mac told her why they were really there.

"I have a child but I gave it up for adoption 31 years ago. Why are you asking?"

"This woman, who is my wife is your daughter."

"I do not have a daughter anymore. I have three sons with my husband with whom I have been married for 27 years. I have three children and I do not have a daughter. That is why I would ask you to leave now and never come back."

Back in their house Stella sat down on the couch and realised that her mother denied her. Mac sat down next to her pulling her into a hug and allowing her to cry. When she was sleeping and exhausted from crying Mac carried her into bed and covered her up with a blanket.

Ten minutes later Danny and Aiden rong the door bell and came to visit Mac.

"Where is Stella?"

"She is sleeping Aiden. She is exhausted and hurt."

"Why?"

"Her biological mother denied her and it hurt her very much."

"Poor Stella, she does not deserve that."

"Aiden could you stay here I have to go back to the Lab with Danny because of the Trial tomorrow."

"Sure Mac I will not leave her alone. I will be with her. Do not worry about her. You can go back to the Lab."

Two weeks later. Stella has just given birth to her first child a son, named after his father and his paternal grandfather. His name is Matthew Macenzie Taylor. His godparents are Mac´s brother Patrick Taylor and Aiden Burn.

Mac comes home from a normal work day and just wants to relax with Stella and Matthew but when he comes home when she sees her in the kitchen looking at some old pictures from her childhood. When he saw her looking through the pictures he realised that she wants to know the real reason why her mother gave her away and that she will only be able to enjoy having a boby when she has the answer. He approaches her, puts his hand on her shoulder and starts to talk to her.

"Stella honey! Come on let us go for a walk in the Central Park."

"OK."

A few days later Mac comes home after he visited Stellas biological mother alone and is bringing Stella the answer she wants. He sits down with her and Matthew on the couch. "Stella your mother gave you away, because she was raped and could not keep the child of a rapist."

"Thank you Mac. Now I know why and now I can start being a mother. Thank you."

The next few months were happy months for the little family and Mac was sure that Stella was OK with being a mother now and he saw that she was happy now. But one evening shortly before Christmas Stella surprised Mac with her wish of reconceling with her foster parents and her siblings, since she had not seen them in 5 years. When Mac came home that night Stella was already waiting for him.

"Mac I need to talk to you." Stella said.

"What is it sweetheart?" Mac asked concerned.

"I want to reconcil with my foster parents and my foster sisters and brother, if that is OK with you."

"Whatever you want. If you want to meet with your family that is Ok for my and if it makes you happy I am happy, too."


	2. Meeting the parents

Meeting the family

Mac thought about Stella´s wish to reconcile with her foster parents and her sisters and her brother. He hoped that Stella would become the old Stella again, when she had her family back. Stella had wrote them an invitation and on the Thrusday evening Stella, Mac and Matthew where waiting for them to arrive. Mac had never met them, since Stella had not had contact with them for the last five years. He could see that Stella was nervous and afraid of rejection. "Stella are you alright?" "Yeah. Just a little nervous." "It is going to be OK Stella. They will not reject you. They love you." "Hope so." "You have lived with them for many years. They are your family. You always said that they were your family. So do not worry. It is going to be alright." "Thank you Mac." "Your welcome honey."

An hour later the whole family, her mother Caroline, her father Andrew and her brother Cameron and her two sisters Sophie and Audrey arrive. Stella invite´s them inside to meet Mac. "Guys I would like you to meet my husband and collegue Mac Taylor." The family greets him and her sister Sophie says. "We hoped you would be happy. Matthew cries and Stella says. "I´ll go get him." A moment later she returns with Matthew. "Guys we would like you to meet our son Matthew Mackenzie Taylor." "We´re grandparents Andrew." Says Caroline. "He is so cute. He looks so much like you big sister" says Audrey. The enter the dinning-room and eat dinner. After that they return to the living-room and talk for a while. Around ten in the evening the doorbell rings. Mac answers it and leads Flack and Aiden into the livingroom. "Flack what can we do for you?" "Aiden are you alright?" asks Stella. "Stella I hate to brake this up but Aiden needs to talk to you." "Mac can you take him." Aiden sits down on the couch next to Stella. Her family sits on the other sofa´s and on chairs. "Aiden what is the matter?" "Stella take a look at this case file." Stella looks at the file and sees that the victim his Aiden´s father. "Aiden I am so sorry. I know you loved your father." "Stella I want you and Mac to take this case. Please." "Sure we will take this case, right Mac?" "Aiden we will get the guy who killed your father." "Thank you." "Stella Aiden cannot go home. She asked me to ask you if she can stay here." "You sure can stay here kiddo." "Thank you Stella." "What are friends there for." "I need another favor." "Sure kiddo. Anything" "I need help with the funeral." "Aiden you can stay in our guestroom and relax. Mac and I will handle the investigation and the funeral." "What about Sinclair?" "Aiden Stella and I will make sure off that." She stands up and walks over to Mac and gives him a hug. "Thank you Mac." "Aiden I am you boss and you´re friend. I married you´re best friend. That is what friends are there for." "Aiden I will get your stuff our of the car." "Thanks Flack." "Do not even mention it. Mac the investigation can wait until tomorrow." Stella notices Aiden sit down next to her again and she notices Aiden cry. She pulls Aiden into a hug and says. "It is alright. You do not have to hide your grieve." "I know Stella. I am sorry to inturrupt you´re family meeting." "Aiden it is alright my family understands." They all nod and continue to play with Matthew.

An hour later they are still sitting in the livingroom. Aiden is sleeping wih her head on Stella´s lap. Her mother looks at them and says. "You really care about her. Stella is she alright?" "She will be someday." Mac speaks up. "When she started at the CSI she was very young and I paired her with Stella because I knew that Stella would take good care of her. She always is really protective of her co-workers. The two became friends. Sometimes I think they are even more than friends. Aiden admires Stella and Stella became protective of her." Says Mac. "That is why you called her kiddo right?" asks Stella´s sister Sophie. "Yeah. She always was the kiddo." Aiden wakes up again and hears the conversation. A moment later she sists up. "Stella is tight. I am her kiddo and she is very overprotective of me. So is Mac." Both of them smile. "But it is OK. I never had to deal with the chief thanks to you two and when cases went bad you got shot at not me. Thank you." "Kiddo that is what senior detectives and friends are there for" says Stella. "Stella is right Aiden." "I hope I´ll never lose you." "You never will Aiden. Remember what Stella and I promised you after you we´re held hostage. We will never leave you." "Mac we promised Stella the same thing after she was kidnapped and after she shot Frankie." "Right Aiden you and Mac promised me the same thing back then." "I guess you are my family now." "Aiden you´re father is always watching you and he will always love you." Aiden turns to Mac and gives him hug. "Thank you Mac." Then she turns to Stella and says. "I´ll retire. See you tomorrow." "Have a good night kiddo. If you need anything you know where to find us." "Thank you Stella." "Mac could you bring Matthew to bed." Mac and Aiden walk upstairs and Stella is alone with her family. Her brother speaks up. "You really care about her." "I sure do Cameron. She is a young detective. She does not need trouble." "That is why you and Mac always take the fall for bad cases. "Mac and I are protective of our co-workers Aiden and Danny. Aiden has been through enough. She needs a family and we are her family. So was her father." Mac comes down the stairs again and says. "Stella Danny called me and asked us to come to the lab." "Mac you go alone. I will stay here with Matt and Aiden." "Are you sure." "Yeah I have the feeling that Aiden will not sleep to well. I do not want to leave her alone." "You take care of our two children. I will be back soon." They kiss good-bye and Mac leaves. She then turns back to her family and says. "Like Mac says. She is our kid." "We saw that" says her father Andrew. "Guys do you want to sleep in the office and the other guestroom?" "We would like that" says Caroline, Stella´s mother. They go upstairs leaving Stella behind in the livingroom. Aiden walkes up and comes down and says. "Mom!" Stella looks surprised. "I heard the last conversation between you and Mac." Her family who is standing on the top of the stairs smiles. "Come here kiddo." She sits down next to Stella and lays her head on Stella´s lap. Soon both of them fall asleep. When Mac returns home in the middle of the night he sees the two ladies sleeping on the couch. He walks up to Stella and geives her a kiss. Stella opens her eyes and says. "Mac go to bed. I will sleep here with Aiden. I am glad that she is asleep at all. She heard our last conversation last night. Were we said she is our kid. She called me mom." "OK." "Go to bed Mac. I am going to wake her up to go to bed now. I will sleep her."

The next morning Aiden wakes up and notices that she slept on Stella´s lap. Stella wakes up to and Aiden says. "Sorry mom. You should have woken me up and should have gon to bed." "Aiden Mac and I were happy that you slept at all. It is OK. I will sleep in my bed tonight. The family eats breakfast together and then Mac goes to the lab and Stella, Aiden and Stella´s family go for a walk. Stella´s family likes Aiden immediately. They return homke for lunch and after lunch Stella, Aiden and Stella´s family go to a funeral home. When they return home after that Aiden is totally exhausted and lies down in the guestroom. The family sits down in the livingroom. "So what have you done in the last years guys" Stella asks her family. "I studied and I am now working as a psycholigist at the childrens psychiatric facility of the Sinai hospital" says Sophie. "I studied and I am now working as a doctor in the birthing ward and Sinai hospital" says Audrey. "And i am studying economics and Rensellear Polytencic Institute in up-state New York" says Cameron. Her mother speaks up and says. "We lived our live in Queens and still live in the house you grew up in. We worked and four years ago Andrew to a leave of absence, at the Sinai hospital where he now works in the neurological ward, for two years and we sold Sophie´s, Audrey´s and Cameron´s cars, you took your car when you left. I took a leave of absence, at the Sinai hospital where I now work in the surgical ward, for two years too. They have their own now and they ran over my and Andrew´s name. Whe had put aside money since our wedding in 1964 and after fourty years we had an amount of 240 thousand and we went on a world trip for two years and visited every continent. We also travelled a bot through the US and Canada. And what did you do Stella?" "I am a detective with the CSI and Mac is my boss. We bacme friends and after some time more than that. We married five years in 1994 ago and are now parents of a one year old son and a girl. We see Aiden as our daughter." "What is the CSI Stella?" "We are crime scene investigators. We work at Crime Scene´s and collect evidence. The evidence the prosecuter needs to sonveict people. You know what I will show you the CSI today. " They nod. "Stella leaves Aiden a note and Mac´s sister comes by to watch Matthew. They leave Aiden a note. They drive in Stella´s car. They arrive at the lab and the lab techs need Stella´s advice. "Stella!" "Adam what have you got." She and her family walk into the lab and put labcoats on. "What is that Adam?" "The evidence froma rape murder case. I need you to authorize me to get the old files of unsolved rape cases. Because we think it could be D.J. Pratt." "You got my authorization. Go." "Thank you Stella. Sis needs to talk to you." "Thank you." They walk into Danny´s lab. "Danny what have you got?" "Fibers, mud a worm, paper a subway ticket from four days ago and flower´s from the central park. And to not forget the connecting part with D.J. Pratt white paint." "Son of a bitch. Do everything you can to nail this guy. Superglue and dust everything and ultra violet light too. If you are looking for Aiden she is at our place. Please leave her alone she needs time." Danny nods. I´ll do everything I can Stella." "Thanks Danny." The exit the lab and are now standing on the hallway. "So that is what you do every day?" "Yeah." Sid walks up to them. "Stella!" "Sid. What have you got for me." "She definitely whas raped and every thing else looks like Pratt." "Take it to Danny. He is in the AV-Lab." "Will do Stella. How is Aiden." "She will be OK in a while." "We´ll talk later Stella." I have another four bodies waiting for me. Homicide and Narcotics have sent us bodies." "Sid crime never sleeps neither does the city." "Take care Stella. The girls mother is waiting over there" "Will do Sid.I will take care of her." Sid walks over to the lab Danny is in."Yeah this is what I do every day and even more. I have one thing to take care of you can watch from here. "Miss Thompson I am Detective Stella Bonasera." "Grace Thompson. They said I need to identify my daughter." "Yes. This way please." She brings the mother into a room where Sid brings the body. The mother identifies her daughter and breaks down and Stella pulls her into ahug. Sid returns to the morguw with the body. Stella and the mother come back to the hall and sit down in the sitting area. "Are you able to answer me a few question?" "Yeah." "When did you see your daughter the last time." "Two days ago she was on her way to college. When can I take my daughter home." "As soon as our pathologist is done with examining her. We will inform you." "Thank you." Danny walks up to Stella. "Stella!" "Excuse me for one moment." She walks over to Danny who is standing on the other side of the hall. "Danny what have you got." "Sid found this on her I am done with it." He gives Stella a necklace with a cross. "How I hate this part Danny." "So do I. But you are good with the families." "Thanks Danny." Danny returns to the lab and Stella walks back to the mother. Her family is sitting in an other part of the sitting area and is waiting for Stella and watches her. "Mr. Thompson this was found on your daughter." "Her father gave it to her before he went to Beirut in 1983. He never returned. She was 6 then." "I am sorry for your loss." "Thank you Mrs. Bonasera. Could you call me when I can take Louisa home." "I will." She walks over to her family after the mother left the lab. "So now you saw my work." "You are doing a good job." "Well it is crucial. We cannot make mistakes." "I understand" says Caroline. Mac walks up to them. "Stella I have a file you should look at. A woman captured in her own appartment and shot her boyfriend out of self-defense. She will not talk." "I will talk to her." "Are you OK with doing it?" "Mac I shot Frankie out of self-defense when he captured me in my appartment. It was six years ago. I am fine. Do me a favour check on Susan, Matt and especially on Aiden. She slept when we left." "Will do Stella." Stella goes to talk to the woman and Mac takes care of Stella´s family. "I can say that we all work at the hospital except for Cameron but we would not be able to work with murder victims and their loved ones." "We work with them daily and it is sad to say but you get used to it. But still we give the families closure." "Yeah." Half an hour later Stella returns and says. "You were right Mac. He abused her physically and sexually and she did not want to endure it anymore and when she told him to stop beating her he threw her on the bed and tried to rape her she hit him on th head with a book and then she tried ti run. She came after her and she shot himwith his gun. It was registered to him." "Are you alright?" He lays an a hand on Stella´s left lower arm. "I am OK Mac. I just wish that abused women would talk to us to get help." "Most of them were threatened and they are scared for their life and the life of their children." "Yeah. I gues that will never stop." "I guess not. But we can still hope that the women stop being ashamed and start talking." "You are right Mac. How are they at home." "Aiden has not spoken since she woke up and has refused to eat." "We will see about that when I get home." "Mac! Stel!" "What is it Danny?" "I just got a call from Sinclair because of Aiden." "I will take care of it Danny. Do not worry." He goes back to the lab. "I did not think he is so fast." "You know him Stel. He wants to destroy the lab but that will not happen righjt?" "Not with you and me Mac. We will do everything to protect this lab and Aiden." "Right Stella. I will go talk to him. Take you family home and make sure that Aiden eats. Stella and her family go home and Mac talks to Sinclair.

When he returns home in the evening. "Stella I talked to Sinclair. He was not amused but he excepted my request that Aiden does not work for two weeks." "Thank you Stella and thank you Mac." "You are welcome kiddo." "Yeah Mom!" She gives Stella a hug. "You to Dad. Thank you." She gives Mac a hug too. "You are welcome kiddo" says Mac.


	3. Saying GoodBye

Saying Good-bye

Today is the funeral of Aiden´s father and the Taylor family and Stella´s family are there to support her as well as the collegues of the lab. All are ready to go to the cemetary but Stella cannot find Aiden. She goes upstairs and finds her in the guestroom crying and sitting on the bed. "Aiden are you alright?" "I miss him Stella. He died to early. He did not deserve this." "Honey I know but today we will give him his peace and as soon as we find the guy who did this to your parents we will give you peace too. OK?" "Thank you Stella." She starts crying again and Stella pulls her into a hug and comforts her. "It is Ok honey. We are going to get through this together. Mac and I are here for you. OK?" "Thank you Stella." Mac comes to the room and enters and says. "We have to go." "Ok. We will be down in a minute Mac." Mac goes back down again. "Come on Aiden we have to go." "OK." They go downstairs and all fo them go to the cemetary to attend the mass. During the mass Aiden is barely holding-up and she is comforted by Mac and Stella who are sitting on either side of her. After the coffing has been let down into the earth Aiden is only holding onto the last straw of strength that she has. Mac and Stella are permanently comforting her.

After returning to Mac and Stella´s house Aiden totally looses it in the guestroom and Stella is with her and is comforting her. After about an hour of crying and talking Stella and Aiden come down and Mac sees Aiden´s fragile state and says. "Are you alright Aiden?" "Pretty well. Thank you Mac." "You are more tham welcome Aiden." He pulls her into a hug. After dinner the whole family goes for a walk and try to relax and help Aiden a little.


	4. Surprise

August 1999

Matthew is now one year 7 months old. Aiden has revocered from her fathers death and Stella and her family have a good relationship and the family visits each other often. Stella has started to work part-time again so she can spend some time with her son.

When Stella gets up this morning she fells a little nauseas. Mac wakes up to an empty bed. When Stella walks out of the bathroom he cannot help but notice that she is really pale. "Sweetheart are you alright? You look pale?" "I do not know. I do not feel too good." "Honey you should go see a doctor." "I know. I will have to go see my gynecologist." "What?" She saw his look. "Mac do not look at me like that. It just a feeling. I could be pregnant." His face got blank. "Mac please I did not plan that." He walked over to her and pulled her into him. "Stella I am not mad. I am surprised. But happy if it is true." "I will call her and see if she has an appointment for me." "Alright."

Stella called her doctor and she could arrange an appointment for later in the day. "Mac I have an appointment at four." "Alright." "Could come home before that and watch Matthew. I do not want to take him with me." "Alright. I will be home around three." "Alright. We have to go to work Mac and we have to drop of Matthew." "Yeah. Honey are you sure that you are up to working today?" "Mac I could be pregnant. That does not mean that I am sick." "OK."

On the way to work Mac noticed that Stella was very quiet. "Honey are you alright?" "Yeah. Just thinking." "About what?" "About us. I mean I never wanted to have a longterm relationship after Frankie. Then you and I got together and I know now that I never want us to be over. I could not survive that Mac." Mac reached over and gave her hand a gentle queeze. "Stella I would never leave you intentionly. I love you and I do not plan on going anywhere." "Good." He could see the reliev in her eyes.

When Stella got home with Matthew she made lunch and fed Matthew and put him down for a nap. After she sat down on the couch. She waited for Mac to come home. He came home about half an hour earlier then her planned to. He found her sitting on the couch. He walked up to her and sat down next to her. He put an arm around her shoulder and killed her temple. She wanted to get up and said. "I better get going." "Stella it is two thirty. You have plenty of time." "The traffic." He knew that she was afraid and nervous and that she was trying to escape. He walked over to where she was now standing. He put a hand on the small of her back. "Stella relax you have time." She turned around and was facing him now. She looked up at him and he could see the insecurity in her eyes.

He pulled her into a him and asked. "Do you want me to come?" She did not give him an answer for a few minuted. Then she slowly nodded yes. She then looked up at him and said in a small voice that was barely over a whiyper. "Yes." He looked at her and gave her gentle loveing kiss. She then buried her face in the crock of his neck. He said. "I will come with you. But you could have asked me right away." She looked up at him. "I know. But I wanted to try it alone." He just nodded. He knew that she was still afraid of some situations. It was an after affect of her being held hostage and almost being raped by Frankie. He could see that she was afraid that he could be mad at her and said. "Stella do not worry. We are alright. Maybe you will be able to do it alone next time. If not I will always go with you. You do not have to be afraid to ask me. I love you." She nodded. She then heard matthew crying in his bed and went to get him.

At the doctors office Stella is getting examined and Matthew is playing with Mac. After doing all of the tests the doctor sat down and said to Mac and Stella. "I am to congratulate you. You definitely are pregnant Stella." "Thank you Doctor!" "Thank you!" Mac looked down at Stella and could see that she needed time to procedd that. The doctor left and Mac put Matthew into his stroller. He then sat down next to Stella. "How are you feeling?" "Mac honestly I am a little overwhelmed. But I am happy. We will have our second baby in Febuary." "Yes we will. I am happy to Stella." On the way home Stella was practically smiling and Mac knew that it was good for Stella to smile and to be happy. She had been a little depressiv lately.

The next day at work Mac and Stella were in his office and called the team to come to Mac´s office. When the team arrived Mac said. "Guys Mac and Stella would like to tell you that we are having our second child in Febuary." The whole team congratulated them and Stella really was happy. Mac loved seeing her happy and was glad that she had something to cheer her up.

When they got home that evening Stella sat down on the couch. Mac noticed that she seemed to have something on her mind. "Sweetheart what is it?" "I am just wondering how Matthew will react to the baby." He sat down next to her and laid a hand on her thigh. "Stella he will get used to the baby. He will be alright. So will you." "Ok." Mac hoped that Stella would stop worrying so much and would be able to enjoy her pregnancy.


	5. Healthy Baby

December 1999

Stella by now is seven months pregnant with their second baby. She was on maternity leave by now and was enjoying her free time while Matthew was at Daycare in the morning. She also loved spending time with Matthew in the afternoons. He did not understand yet that his mother was carrying a baby but as soon as the baby would be there he would know.

When Mac came home in the late afternoon he found Stella sitting on the couch and Matthew playing next to her. "Hey honey!" "Mac!" "Daddy!" "He little man." He gave Stella and Matthew a kiss and sat down next to Stella with Matthew on his lap. He could see that Stella was exhausted and tired. It did not really surprise him because she had probably played with Matthew the whole time.

After he brought Matthew to bed a few hours later he returned to the livingroom. "Mac!" "What is it Stella?" "How do you think Matthew will react when the baby is home?" "I honedtly do not know. I am the oldest but my parents somehow managed it. We will find a balance Stella. You will see everything will turn out to be alright." "I hope so. I do not want to Matthew to get neclected." "That will hot happen Stella. We love both of our children. I love you to." "I love Mac. Stop kicking in there!" "Is the baby kicking you." "Yes. The baby is worse the Matthew was." "Honey calm down." He rubbed a hand over her stomach. The baby seemed to calm down. "Thank you Mac. It hurts when the baby kicks. Especially wehen it kicks me in the back." "I will be alright." "I know."

The next morning Stella had an doctors appointment. But both Mac and Stella had decided to not find out what sex the baby had. The doctor told them that the baby was more then healthy. When they came back home Stella went to prepare a list of things she needed to buy as christmas presents for the family and the team. She then put Matthew in his car seat and the stroller in the trunk and she and Mac went to town. After they had bought everything they returned home and Stella took a nap while Mac took care of Matthew. He knew that she needed the rest.


	6. Isabella Caroline

Febuary 2000

Mac had taken off a week to be able to be with Stella when the baby would arrive. She had not asked him to but he insisted on it.

They were eatinh breakfast. "Mac I hope that it will not be anordeal again like last time." He could see the worry and fear in her eyes when she remembered the ordeal kind of birth Matthew had after 32 hours of labor. He reached up and cupped her face with his hand. "Hey! You will be fine. Remember you are not alone." "I know. Thank you. But you have to admit that 32 hours are too long.!" "Honey I know that you are scared because of what happened last time. But you have to think positive Stella. It couls go easy too." "But somehow I cannot get the memory out of my mind." He saw the worry and fear that was still on her face. He could read her like a book. "Stella I know you are scared that you have to go through this again. Remember what the docotr said? Every baby is different. This baby does not have to be like Matthew." "Thank you Mac." He hoped that he was able to calm her down a little. She excused ehrself and went to the bathroom.

When she was finished she noticed that the labor was beginning. She tried to look calm when she walked back to the kitchen. "Mac you are going to have to get my bag. I just had my first contraction." He could see that she was trying to look and be calm but he still read fear and worry in her eyes. He ealked over to her and pulled her into him and kissed her temple. He helped her sit down and said. "Do not worry I will be back in minute." Matthew was with Stella´s parents. When he came back down again Stella said. "It was the first contraction so it takes 15 to 20 minutes for the second one to come." "Come on let us get you to the hospital" "Alright." Mac helpes her into the front seat of the car and got in himself. He started the car and got to the hospital in ten minutes. Stella had another contraction during the ride and held onto Mac´s hand.

Stella was admitted and they brought the couple into a private room. They started monitoring Stella´s and the baby´s vitals and the baby´s heartbeat. Stella and Mac had already talked that Stella wanted to give birth in a different way then with Matthew. This time she wanted to have the baby in birthing tub. Mac went to talk to the midwife and the nurse and doctor. He told them that Stella would like to move to the birthing tub when she was almost fully delated. They agreed to her wish. Mac told Stella the news and she seemed to be happy.

The nurse told them to take a walk together it might help fasten the birthing process. At least it would give her the oppurtunity to get some fresh air and relax a little. Mac and Stella took a walk and it seemed to calm her down. Mac was glad to see her a little relaxed. They returned after an hour but the contractions were only comeing in 10 minute intervals. It was going to take a little longer for her to be able to move to the tub. She had already been in labor for six hours. She unfortunately was only 2,5 cm delated and her water has not broken yet.

Four hours later she was 5 cm delated and her water had broken. She got an epidural which she was glad to have. Mac was glad because it gave her the possibility of sleeping thorugh the next contractions. She slept more or less for 6 hours. Then the epidural wore of and she slowly woke up again to a Mac who had permanently held her hand. "Mac!" "Stella everything will be alright." The midwife checked on her and she was almost fully delated by now. The nurse and Mac helped her into the tub. He could see that she relaxed even more. He knew how good bathe were for her. It has always been a way for her to cal down.

3 hours later Stella pushed the last time and then their baby swan through the wat. The nurse put her on Stella stomach and Mac could see how happy Stella was. It was a littly baby girl. Mac cut the umbilical cord. While the baby was washed and the dates were put down Mac helped her back to the bed. The nurse came back and handed Stella the baby. "Does she already have a name?" "No. Now yet." "I will give you three some time alone. I will be back in a little while." Stella fed her little daughter when she got hungry. "Mac have you thought of any name yet?" "No." "Well I have a middle name but we need a first name." "Which one?" "Caroline after my mother and my sister Sophie Caroline." "That is a good idea. How about Isabella as a first name after my mother Isabella and my sister Marlene Isabelle." "Really good idea." The nurse came back in and Stella said. "Her name is Isabella Caroline." The nurse wrote it down in the documents and handed them to Mac. He would register his daughter birth in the next few days just like he had done with Matthew. Mac informed the families and the team.

The next morning the team and the families came by. By now Matthew was at the hospital too. He was sleeping in his Stroller and Isabella was sleeping in her crib. He and Stella watched the children sleep and soon Stella was sleeping too and Mac watched his little family sleep. The next morning Mac could take his little family home.


	7. First day back

May 2000

Isabella was now three months old. Matthew was going to day care in the morning and Isabella was going to start doing it too. Stella would work in the mornings and on two afternoons. These two afternoons would be spent and Stella and Mac´s parents by the kids. Today was Stella´s first da back at work after her maternity leave. She and Mac brought the kids to day care. When it was time for Stella to hand over Isabella she hesitated. Mac saw it and said. "Sweetheart we have to go. She and Matthew will be fine." She reluctantly handed her daughter over and Mac lead her out of the building one arm wrappen around. She desperatlx tried to the tears at bay.

As soon as they reached the car she leaned against it and was not able to hold the tears back anymore. Mac pulled her into a hug and tried to soothe her nut it was not really helping. He remembered Matthew´s first day at daycare. She had been a total wreck that day. She silently cried against his chest. "Stella they will be fine. If they need us they will call us." She absently nodded into his chest. He pulled back a little while later and lightly kissed her lips and pulled her against his chest again. He then helped her into the car.

The drive to the lab was hard because Stella was holding is hand still not able to really keep the tears at bay. As soon as they arrived at the lab she wiped the tears away. He got out of the car and then he helped her out and led her to his office. When they arrived his office he closed the door and then took her hands in his and said. "You know were I am if you need me Stella." "I know." "Will you be alright?" She just nodded but he knew that that is not completely true. "Come here." She gladly walked into his embrace. She held onto him tight. She did not want to let go. Danny opened the door a minute later but Mac gave him a sign to not interrupt them.

When she pulled away after a while she took her cell phone. Mac knew that she was calling in on Matthew and Isabella. She was still in his embrace while she called. They told her that everything is alright. "They are OK Mac." She said with tears in her eyes. She leaned back against his chest. "Stella it is alright. Honey we should get to work though." "I know." He saw her walk out of his office far from being alright.

At noon she came to his office and looked everything then fine. "Are you alright?" "Yeah!" Mac quickly decided to take the afternoon of too. "I am going home with you." "Really?" "Yes." He did not really belive that she was completely alright. But she would be in time. They left the office and went to the daycare to pick up the kids. Then they went home to enjoy a family afternoon.


	8. Lindsey s past

July 2000

Stella has by now been able to accept the fact that Isabella is in Daycare too. Mac was glad to see that and that she was not calling there every hour anymore. By now she only called once or twice aday depending if she is working half a day or the whole day. But not only he but the whole team has noticed that she was becoming the old Stella again.

"Stella!" Mac called behind her. "Mac! What can I do for you?" "Stella I was wondering if you had lunch already?" "No. Actually I am going to meet Lindsey for Lunch." "Is it important?" "Lindsey was totally rattled and out of it earlier. I just need to find out what is the matter." "What happened earlier?" She pulled Mac into his office and closed the door. "We were in the morgue with Sid because of the murder of the deaf girl who had a baby. Suddenly she began to cry and said. "Why was I the only one?" I do not know what this whole thing is about yet but she asked if she can talk with and if we can meet outside the lab."

"Do you want me to come?" "I do not think that it is a good idea." Lindsey comes into the office at that moment. "Lindsey!" "Hey guys!" "Lindsey would it be alright if Mac comes with us." "OK." The three walk to the cafe.

At the café Stella asks. "Lindsey where were you the only one?" She swallowed hard. "Ten years ago I was in a restaurant with my four friends. I had to go to the bathroom and while I was there some guy entered the café and started shooting and killing all four of them. I survived because I was in the bathroom and he did not come into it." She was crying and Stella pulled her into a hug. "Stella I need a friend here." "You got one Lindsey." "Thank you Stella." Then Mac pulled her into a hug. "Lindsey you are not alone. Everything will be alright."

When they returned to the lab Mac and Stella walked into his office. "Poor Lindsey she shouldn´t have to go through that." "No one should have to go through that Stella." "She does look as if she gotten over it yet." "I know Stella. But she knows where she can find us and where she has friends." "Yeah."


	9. Threat

June 2000

Stella was a wonderful mother and wife. She also was a wonderful CSI and she loved her family. But no one knew that there was something she was hiding. At least the thought that nobody knew she was hiding something. But Mac noticed that something seemed to be off. And he had noticed it two weeks ago for the first time and hoped that she would talk to him. When he entered her office he saw her looking out of the window. He walked to her and sneaked his arms around her waist. She jumped and let out a scream. When she turned around and saw that it was Mac she was ashamed.

She turned around again looking out of the window. "Did you have zo sneak up like that Mac?" He could still hear the tremor in her voice. "I am sorry Stella.------ Stella are you alright?" She nodded and said. "I am alright Mac." He out a hand on her shoulder and he could feel that she was totally under stress and unrelaxed. She seemed to relax a little under his touch. She reached for his hand on her shoulder and he gave her a reassuring squeeze. He slowly steped to her and wrapped his other arm around her waist. She wanted to resist his touch but she felt unable to do so. She felt safe and secure with him. So she leaned back into his embrace.

Mac turned her around in his arms and looked her in the eyes trying to read her. He could read total insecurity in her eyes. "Stella what is the matter?" She did not answer him. Instead she leaned her head against his chest. He wrapped her into a hug and pulled her into him. But he wondered what she is hiding and is not willing to tell him.

"Stella please talk to me." "Mac." He could see that she was fighting it. He lead her to her chair. She sat down on it and he leaned against the table. "Stella please talk to me." She looked up from her lap. At that moment Danny entered her office and gave her a report. After he had left she got up and said. "I have to work again." She wanted to walk past Mac put he grabed her arm to hold her back. "Stella! Sweetheart what is it?" "Not now Mac."

When he came home in the evening he found her lying on the bed faceing the wall with her back to the door. From the door he could see that she was crying. He slowly walked around the bed and knelt down infront of her. He stroked her back and tried to soothe her and calm her with comforting words.

After a while she slowly sat up on the bed and Mac sat down next to her and opened his arms and she grafetully moved into them. He had never seen her this worked up and still being able to keep things from him. He had to admit that he was worried about her. He needed to know what happened and what is bothering her. He just let her cry against his chest for a while.

After she had calmed down a little he tried to talk to her again. "Sweetheart are you feeling better?" "Yeah." She looked up at him. "What is bothering you Stella?" "Well we had a lot of had cases in the last few weeks." "Stella we always have tough cases." "I know but we had too many cases including children in any way." "The kids in trhe cases brought all this up." "Well part of it but not everything."

She got up from the bed and went to check on the kids. She then went to the kitchen with Mac following a few minutes later. "Stella what else is there?" She went to the livingroom and sat down on the couch. He followed her and sat down next to her. "I was attacked a few days ago while walking down the street." "What? Someone attacked you?" "Mac please." "Where did that happen?" "It happened a few blocks away from here. The guy said that you would pay for what happened to his brother." "Do you know who it was?" "No idea. Mac what if he hurts the kids." She had tears streaming down her cheek. He pulled her into a hug. "Stella it will be alright."


	10. Sophie s accident

September 2000

Mac had gotten a phone call from the hospital in which Stella´s sister had been brought to a few minutes ago. Stella´s sister Sophie had been in an accident. It had been a car accident. It seemed as if she had to be operated fast. He now had the job of calling her parents, her brother and her sister.

After he had called her family he went to find his wife. He found her in the break room drinking a coffee and talking with Aiden. "Hey Mac" said Aiden getting up and wanting to give the couple time alone. Mac sat down next to his wife and took a deep breath. "Sweetheart I got a call from Greater New York Hospital. Sophie had a car accident and they called me because you and I are her emergency contacts.

Stella looked up at him shocked. "What happened?" "She seemed to have a car accident and they are operating her now. She seems to have broken bones and a few lacerations." She got up and went to the sink to put the coffee cup inside before she left the break room. Mac went to follow her and saw that she came back from his office with their jackets. He knew that she would want to see her sister.

When they arrived at the hospital her parents, her brother and her sister were already there. The doctor brought Mac and Stella up to speed. She had broken bones, lacerations and bruises. Aside from that she seemed to be fine. Stella breathed a sigh of relief knowing that her sister was alright.

"She is alright Stella." Stella turned around and nodded. "I know. But how does Sophie have a car accident. She does not drive a car, she takes the subway. She does not even have a car. That does not make sense." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his chest. "We will find everything out. Try to take a breath and relax. We will talk to Sophie when she is better." He knew that she wanted to know what happened but knew that she would have to be patient.

A week later, Sophie was almost the old one again, except for the broken bones. The car was her neighbors. Now Mac knew that Stella would be alright.


	11. Andrew and Mallory Dennis

October 2000

The kids were growing nicely. But Mac was worried about Stella. Her paternal grandparents Andrew and Mallory Dennis had had a car accident and were both in the hospital and no one knows if the are going to survive. They went to the hospital daily and Stella was starting to become a total wreck by now. She moved back into the shell she used when she wanted to block out things.

Two weeks after the accident Andrew and Mallory Dennis passed away. Stella was totally devestated and Mac had a hard time calming her down. She cried almost the whole time. She had taken sick leave from work and Mac did everything he could to be with her. He knew that she needed him.

When the day of the funeral came Stella was weaker then ever. During the drive to the cemetary she was holding his hand searching for comfort. After the funeral she almost broke down watching the coffin being lowered into the ground. Mac was able to steady her and when the arrived at home afterwards they sat down on the couch. He pulled her into a hug and let her cry against his chest. He knew that she would need time to recover from the loss she had endured. His main concern was for her to get her strength back.


	12. Slow recovery

December 2000

Stella had slowly recovered from her grandparents death. But she was definitely still not the old Stella again. Mac did everything he could to help her become the old Stella again. But both of them knew that it would take time.

Mac was in the lab with Danny working on results when Stella entered it. He could see right away that she definitely was in need of comfort and a goodnights sleep which she does not get every night. When she stood next to him he took her hand in his and gave it a sweeze. She gave him a apprecitating smile. It seemed to give her strength which she desperately needed. Danny noticed the contact and went to get a coffee. After he had left Mac put an arm around Stella and pulled her into him and kissed her temple. She relaxed into his embrace. When they pulled apart he could see that she seemed to be better but he knew that the truth was, that she was still hurting pretty badly. But he also knew that she would never admit it in public.

In the evening the family was in the livingroom playing. A moment later Mac could see that Stella had tears welling up in her eyes. He got up and helped Stella to her feet and led her to the couch. They sat down with Stella holding Isabella in her arms. He pulled her into a hug and kissed her temple. A few tears rolled down her cheek and Mac whiped them away with his hand. Isabella was now sleeping in her mothers arm. "I will be right back." With that she went upstairs to bring her daughter to bed. When she returned Matthew and Mac were playing with the cars on the floor.

When Mac had brought Matthew to bed he returned to the livingroom finding Stella sitting on the couch holding a picture of her grandparents. He sat down nect to her and pulled her to his chest. They sat like that for a long time. Mac then helped her up and she reluctantly put the picture back on the shelf. They then went to bed. Mac hoped that she would be able to sleep without wakeing up in the night.


	13. Hospital

January 2001

The griev and the lack of sleep have taken its toll on Stella. One evening she totally broke down and had to be brought to the hospital. The doctors told Mac that she had received a sedative so she would sleep for a while. "How long does she have to stay here?" "A week." "Thank you."

The next morning Mac was sitting at her bed holding her hand. "Mac!" He looked up and could see that she was awake. "Hey!" "Why am I in a hospital bed?" "You had a breakdown yesterday evening. The doctor had given you something to make you sleep. You slept the whole night. They want to keep you a week." "I want to go home Mac." "Sweetheart please listen to the doctor. He will be here soon. You need to get your strength back." At that moment the doctor enters. "Doctor how long do I have to stay?" "Mrs. Taylor I will keep for a week. I will check on you later."

After the doctor had left Stella was furios. "Mac sign me out. I want to go home." "That is not going to happen. Sweetheart you need to rest. He stroked her hear and was holding her hand. "Mac where are the kids?" "With your parents." "I want to go home Mac." "Honey I know but you have to think about yourself for now. You need to get your strength back." "Ok. I will stay here." "It will be alright."

Gladly the doctor had given her another sleeping pill so that she was sleeping now. When he exited her room Lindsey, Aiden and Danny were there. "How is Stellaß" "She had a breakdown yesterday evening and has to stay a week. She has not gotten over her grandparents death yet." "I see." "Right now she is sleeping." "Good." "She has been stressing herself to much." "Mac she will be alright." "I know."

One week later Mac could take her home. She is definitely better then before. Mac is glad that she seems to have her strength back.


	14. Family time

March 2001

Stella was now herself again and had fully recovered from her grandparents death. Mac was happy when he saw her working or playing with the children because she was happy again after a long time. He was able to relax after the last months, too.

When they were in the park playing with the kids in the snow she was really happy. Mac pulled Matthew and Isabella in the sleigh and held Stella´s hand with his free hand. "I am glad the hard time is over Mac." "Yeah. You definitely were completely off." "I know I was totally away. What scares me now is that I did not seem to notice it." "But you were not alone. I noticed it and made sure to take care of you and the kids." "Yes. You took care of me. Thank you." "You are welcome sweetheart." She smiled at him and now he definitely knew it. He had is Stella back. She was herself again with all her negative and positive sides. She was back. She had resurfaced. Even the kids seemed to notice the difference.


	15. Baby number three

August 2001

It was really hot in New York City this summer. Stella was not really amused about the hot weather. She was four months pregnant with their thried child which would be due in the beginning of January. She stayes in the lab or in the house with the children as much as she could. She did not want them to get a sunburn and she herself did not want to get to exhausted through tzhe heat. Mac did not like the heat either and stayes out of it as much as possible, too. He was sometimes worried about Stella because of the pregnancy and the heat.

Today they had a doctors appointment together. They had decided to find out the sex of the baby. The docotr did an ultrasound and told them that they were expecting a boy. Mac and Stella were totally happy. The docotr left them alone. "We are going to have another son Mac." "I know sweetheart." Stella had tears shimmering in her eyes. Mac pulled her to him and gave her a light kiss.

They left the doctors office and returned to the lab. On the way Stella started talking. "I think I already have a name for him Mac." "Stella we have time." "Mac I know but I want him to have the name Andrew." He reached over to her and took her hand in his and gave it a little squeeze. He knew it was her grandfathers name and is her fathers name and he would not go against her on this. "He will be named Andrew. We will decide on the middle name an other time." "Thank you." He knew that it would give her some peace when their son would carry that name.

When they arrived at the lab both of them went back to work. A few minutes later Stella ran into Lindsey. "Lindsey!" "Hey Stella! How was your doctors appointment?" "Good. We are having another son." "Congratulations." "Thank you. We are happy too. We will see what Matthew and Isabella say about that." "Well they do not have a choice other then to except it." "You are right. I just hope that they will not be too jealous." "You and Mac are wonderful parents. You will handle it." "Thank you Lindsey."


	16. September 2001

September 2001

They were in the lab and were working when they heard about the attacks on the World Trade Center and moments later of the attacks on the Pentagon and the second Tower of the World Trade Center. Then they heard about the plane in Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

Stella was in Mac´s office when Danny came in and told them. Mac and Stella followed Danny to the break room to watch the news. Everyone was in shock and it was hard to understand how that could happen. They could see how people were evacuated from the scenes and sometime later you could see how the towers crashed and no plane was allowed in the air space above the United States.

Everyone was in shock the whole country was paralyzed. Mac looked at Stella and could see how deep the shook is in her. She is pale. Then they all got the gears and went as close as possible to the World Trade Center as they could and identified themselves as police officers. They helped evacuate people and consoled family members and friends who came as soon as they heard, as good as possible.

They tried to help them and to keep them as calm as possible. Mac knew that it must bring back memories for Stella because people were missing the parents, partners, children and friends. She had missed and still misses her biological parents. But when he looked at her at the moment he can see the pain but he can also see the determination.

She wants to help the others. "Are you going to be alright Stella?" she nodded. "Just be at home tonight." He knew that she meant she would deal with it tonight when they were alone. He could understand that.

In the evening the tears rolled down her checks while they were sitting on the couch and a lot of feelings were running through her. She felt with the people searching for loved ones. "I know how you feel Stella. We have to help the people find their loved ones as good as we can, but we cannot make wonders come true. We will do what we can. Alright?" "I know." She nodded and leaned into him, not completely satisfied.

Two weeks later Ground Zero was still smoking and the Crime Lab and other people were still helping people to find their loved ones as good as they could. They knew that most people were probably ashes by now. In Shanksville people were identified and the victims from the crash into the Pentagon were also, except for 5 people, whose names were still known.

A lot of people from the World Trade Center Site would maybe never be identified and their loved ones would probably never be able to say good-bye properly.


	17. Resting

November 2001

Stella is now seven months pregnant with their son Andrew. Matthew was starting to get jealous and Isabella sometimes just copied his not so nice jealous behaviour. Stella and Mac were mostly not amused about that behaviour but they tried to explain to them that they would have a baby brother soon. "Baby bother?" "Yes Matthew. You will have a baby brother in January." "Can I play with him?" "When he is bigger honey." "Otay." Matthew mostly seemed to satisfied with that answer but Isabella did not really understand yet.

Stella´s family came by on a regularly basis. She loved having them around and Mac loved his family and they loved him. Mac made sure that they came by as often as possible. Matthew and Isabelle loved their aunts, uncle and grandparents very much. They also loved Sophie´s husband Derek and their one year old daughter Sophie Katherine very much.

Stella was on maternity leave now but visited Mac at work on a regularly basis. "Mac!" Stella entered his office and saw him reading a case file. "Hey!" She sat down across from him. "What brings you here sweetheart?" "I just wanted to visit." "How are you?" "I am alright. He is very active just like Matthew." "Is he hurting you?" "I can manage." He knew from the other two pregnancies that she was hurting. He knew that she was just holding up her façade in public. He walked around his desk and leaned against the it next to her and put his hand on her belly. Under his touch Andrew stoped kicking and he could see the pain leave her eyes. "Thank you Mac!" "You are welcome sweetheart." He pulled up a chair and sat down next top her and continued working from that side of the desk with a hand on her belly, her fingers entwined with his.

A few minutes later he noticed that she had fallen asleep and carried her to the couch in his office. He then laid her down and pulled his chair to the couch. He worked from their and put his hand on her belly again. He knew that she needed the rest.

About an hour later Lindsey came into his office and saw them. "Mac!" "Lindsey!" "Is she alright Mac?" "Yeah. But she can only sleep with my hand on her stomach because Andrew would kick her the whole time." "Poor Stella!" He followed Lindsey to the lab because she wanted to show him something strange. When he came back she was still sleeping so he sat back down next to her and put his hand on her belly again. He could see her relax again under his toch.

When he had finished working in the evening he slowly woke Stella up. "Stella!" She stirred and slowly woke up. "Mac!" "Let us go home." "Oh my God! The kids." He put a hand on her shoulder. "Relax! I called your mother and she picked them up. You slept for four hours." "Why did you not wake me up?" "Because you needed the rest sweetheart. Come on." He helped her up and led her to the car. Then they drove home were they knew the kids would be waiting for them.


	18. Andrew Danny

January 2002

Andrew Danny was born just a few days before Matthew´s forth birthday. Danny come from Danny Messer. A few days after his birth Mac could take his family home.

At Matthew´s birthday the whole team and the whole family was there and had the chance to see the little baby boy. Stella was still a little exhaustes and was glad for Mac´s help. He did everything he could to help her. The time of the short nights was back. But Mac did what he had done with Matthew and Isabella too, to got up everytime Andrew cried at night and helped Stella.

During the day he helped Stella with things that needed to be done in the house and with Matthew and Isabella.

Mac had to go back to work two weeks later and he dreaded it. He wanted to stay with his family because he knew that Stella would be exhausted sometimes. But he was glad that her mother would pick up Matthew and Isabella in the afternoon from daycare and he would bring them in the morning.

"Mac!" "Danny!" "How is Stella?" "Well she wanted me to go back to work after two weeks. Her mother is helping her. But I wish I could be at home with her. Aside from that Stella is a little exhausted but happy." "Glad to hear that." "Thank you Danny."

In the afternoon Mac was working in his office when Stella entered with Andrew and Isabella in the stroller and Matthew walking. "Daddy!" "Matthew!" Isabella and Andrew are sleeping. "Stella!" "Mac!" She gave hima sign that the two little ones are sleeping. "Daddy to the park." "Mac do you have a lot of work?" "It will be alright. I think we will go to the park." He got up and carried Matthew while putting a hand on the small of Stellas back. The family went to Central park for a family afternoon.


	19. Hard crime scenes

May 2002

Stella was now working again and Matthew was in Kindergarden and Isabella and Andrew were in Daycare. Stella continued working part-time just like she had done it before. She had gooten used to Andrew being in Daycare easier then the last two times but it still left her a bit uncomfortable at least in the beginning. Aside from that Mac had continued to work with cut down hours just like he had done before, too. The family spent as much time as possible as a family.

But Mac noticed that crime scenes had become harder to work for Stella since Matthew had been born. And he had the feeling that it got harder the more children they had. Those crime scenes really rattled her and he knew it. So when he had a crime scene with a child he tried to turn it so that he would be working it instead of Stella.

While Stella was working in her office Mac dropped by and changed the files on her desk. "Why are you changing the files Mac?" "Because it is an unsolved case. I will put it on my desk. I gave you an other unsolved case." "Mac which case was it?" "Stella!" "Mac?" "It is the case with the murdered children. I do not want you to have it on your desk." "Why?" "I do not want you to worry." "I will worry about the children every day Mac." "So will I. But I do not want you working childrens cases." "Why?" He gave her a look. "You changed me from cases to other ones over the past four years. Why?" "I wanted to protect you. I know how effected you are with childrens cases sweetheart." "Mac you are effected too." "Yes I am. Sweetheart have you ever seen yourself working a childrens case. No. You are so different when you are working those cases. You mostly act totally weird. So sometimes seem depressed. Correct me if I am wrong. But it si true right?" "Yes. I just want to be able to work everykind of case." "Sweetheart I am effected by childrens cases too. But seem to be able to handle it differently then you." "I know. Mac I want to be able to work childrens cases without being a total mess while working them." "I know. It will take time. How about this. If I have a child case we work it together so I can take you of it if you are to much a mess. Alright?" "Thank you. That means a lot."


	20. Confrontation

August 2002

Over the last three months Mac and Stella had always worked together on child cases and Stella seemed to improve by each case. She was still a mess at the end of each case but it was getting better. Mac was happy to see that she was improving.

Stella entered Mac´s office after he had asked her too. She sat down across from him. "Stella I know that we agreed to work together on childrens cases but it will not happen on this one." "Why not Mac?" "Because this Crime Scene is definitely not what you want to see Stella." "Why? Where is it?" "Stella no!" "Mac tell me?" He walked around the desk and leaned against it right infront of her. "Stella I cannot do that." "Why?" "Because it is a nightmare. I do not want you having one tonight." She looked up at him totally shocked because she knew that when he described a crime scene like that it would be awful. "Mac please just tell me where you are going?" "Middle School." "Where?" "Queens." "I am coming." Stella!" Mac please." "Fine! But if I say you go back to the lab you go back." "Alright." He wanted to protect her and knew that the scene would be hard to endure for her.

When they arrived at the scene the went into the Middle School. Inside they saw a lot of bodies. Outside of the School were most of the kids and their teachers with the parents. Inside Mac could see Stella´s face changing as well as her body language. He carefully touched her arm. "Are you alright?" "For now." "Ok." They went through the school and after they had went throughthe school they had found fifteen dead children and two dead teachers. After going through the school Mac could see that it was trying for Stella. He went outside with Stella and pulled her aside. "Honey I want you to go to the lab and help with the samples comeing in." "Thank you." "Go." "I will go back with Danny." "Alright." He pulled her into a hug. Unfortunately everyone could see that. When Danny has collected the samples he and Stella went to one of the cars. "Flack we will be in the lab." "OK. See you later." "Yeah."

When the family was at home in the evening Mac knew that he did the right thing by sending Stella to the lab from the crime scene. "Stella are you alright again?" "Sort of. As alright as I can be right now." "I know. It is hard to endure. That is why I did not want you there." "I know. I should have stayed at the lab from the beginning. But I just had to try." "I know." He pulled her into a hug and kissed her temple. He could fell the hurt and stress about the crime scene still in her body. He just hoped that she would be alright and would not have nightmares after it.


	21. Illness

October 2002

Stella had always been a healthy and happy young woman. But while they were having sexual intercourse Mac noticed that something seemed to be wrong. She suddenly went completely limp in his arms and that was definitely not normal for her. She went limp and sagged against him and that had him completely worried. He immediately stopped what he was doing, laid down next to her and tended to her. "Stella!" He gently stroked her check still not sure what was happening. After a few minutes her eyelids fluttered and she seemed to come back to the world.

"What happened?" "You went limp against me and zoned out. You sagged against me. Are you alright?" She just nodded and somehow knew that he was not convinced. He knew that he had to tread carefully as he did not know what was wrong with his wife. She looked awfully pale and that had him even more worried. He wanted to take her to the doctor immediately but she most definitely would have freaked and would have told him that she was completely alright. He then noticed something that made him worry even more. "Sweetheart I would like for you to be checked out at the hospital." She did not really answer so Mac grabbed his cell-phone from the night-stand and called Danny and Aiden to watch the kids.

After they arrived Mac dressed himself and Stella and carried her to the car and they drove to the next hospital. He carried her into the emergency room and a nurse and a doctor brought a bed where he could put Stella down. "This is my wife Stella Taylor and she is ill." "Doctor Julia Meyers. And you are?" "I am her husband Mac Taylor." The doctor noticed the concerned look on his face. They pushed Stella into an exam room and the doctor started her exam. "Ms. Taylor can you hear me? Do you know where you are?" Stella did not really respond and just moaned. Mac was next to her holding her hand the whole time.

"Stella. Sweetheart can you open your eyes?" she turned her head a little but could not really open her eyes. "It is alright Stella." "Mac?" he could hear fragile voice and did not miss the hint of fear in it. He bowed his head a little and kissed her temple. "I am right here Stella. Danny and Aiden are at home with the kids." She nodded against his chin. When he pulled back she opened her eyes. "Where am I?" "We are at the hospital because you went limp and sagged and you did not respond." Now the doctor moved up the bed and started talking to Stella. "Ms. Taylor when you arrived you were unconscious. We took your blood pressure and took blood to run test. We gave you an IV with fluids. We need to make sure that you stay hydrated.

"What are you going to do now Doctor Meyers?" "We will check her out thoroughly and wait for the blood test to come back from our lab and then we will know what made you lose consciousness Ms. Taylor. Try to get some rest now." "Thank you Doctor." After the doctor left the room the nurses moved her to a private room. Mac turned to Stella completely. "Stella, try to get some rest it is 2 in the morning." She looked at him and he knew that she seemed to be worried even a little bit afraid. "We will see what the test say when they come back. Get some rest." He bowed his head and kissed her temple. When he wanted to move back he noticed that Stella was clutching his shirt and that it was starting to get damp.

He winced a little knowing that Stella realized that she could be ill. He carefully pried her hands away from his shirt and sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled her into his arms. When her crying turned into sobs he moved so that he was sitting against the headboard with Stella in his arms. Stella was clutching his shirt again. She cried against his chest and was soon snuggled into his lap.

He held her while she cried and when she slowly started to fall asleep. He was glad that she was getting the sleep that she needed so much. He just hoped that she would be alright and that the blood tests do not come back to bad. He noticed that she seemed to relax as she loosened her grip on his shirt a little bit. She felt safe in his strong arms and the blanket wrapped protectively around her.

Early in the morning the doctor came into check on Stella and stopped dead in tracks at the door as she saw Stella sleeping against Mac´s chest wrapped securely in his arms. She walked up to the bed and smiled at Mac who was still looking concerned. "Morning" both of them whispered careful not to wake Stella who was still sleeping. The doctor talked to Mac a little more about things she knew now. Through the talking Stella started to stir. "Mac?" "I am right here." She slowly opened her eyes and looked around and noticed that she was sitting on Mac´s lap clutching his shirt and then the realization of what happened last night and why they were at the hospital hit her. She tried to of off Mac´s lap but he would not her. "Stella it is alright." He pulled her back against his chest with his strong arms trapping her from running.

"Good morning Ms Taylor. We are still waiting for the blood test to return." Stella nodded against his chest. "I will come by later." "Thank you." Then she left the couple alone again. "How are you feeling today, Stella?" "I do not know. Worried, confused. I just want to know what is wrong and then I want to go home." Mac kissed Stella lightly. "Stella we will wait what the doctor says and then we will see from there. Try to get a little more rest." He tightened his hold a little on her and noticed that she relaxed a little against his chest.

In the late morning the doctor came back with Stella´s file and the test results. By now Stella was awake again and was talking to Mac but the stopped when the doctor entered. She pulled over the chair Mac used the evening before and sat down on the bed where Mac was holding Stella sitting on his lap and wrapped protectively in his arms. "I got the test results back. It is not food poisoning or cancer or something like that but it is and infection. No one knows where it comes from but you can treat it with antibiotics. Ms Taylor you are not allowed to work for at least three weeks and then I want you to come back for a check-up and then we will go from there." Stella was resting against Mac´s chest unsure what to say so Mac decided to ask. "Doctor is this contagious or lethal?" "It is not contagious. We never had a lethal case before." Stella stiffened against him and clutched his shirt in her hands again. "Does my wife have to stay here or can I take her home?" "I would recommend that your wife stays here for a night to make sure that she does not react with an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and then you can take her home." Mac nodded and knew that she would have to endure another night in the hospital.

"I do not want to stay here." It was barely audible because she whispered but Mac heard every word clearly. "Stella it is only one more night and then we will go home to our children. Alright?" "Ms Taylor we do not it to get worse and we want to make sure that you to not react allergic to the antibiotic. Then you can go home to your children." Stella snuggled into Mac´s chest and let the doctor and Mac continue to talk. She did not really listen instead she tried to understand what had just happened.

After Doctor Meyers had left them alone again Stella pulled back from Mac´s chest. "It is one Stella. You will be fine." She nodded and rested her head against his chest again.

Three weeks later Mac and Stella had just left the hospital after her check-up and were on their way to the lab. "It is over and you are healthy again." "I am glad. No more." He nodded and reached over and took her hand in his. The last three weeks had been trying for both of them but they were glad that it was over.


	22. Thinking of failure

December 2002

By now Andrew was starting to get very active. He crawled aroudn the house and started pulling himself up on tables and chairs or he just sat on the floor playing. Matthew loved to playwith him and so did Isabella even though she was sometimes mad because the boys played cars and did not play dolls with her. But all in all the three kids were happy little individuals.

Mac and Stella sometimes had a hard time keeping them all occupied when they all wanted some attention from their parents. But they did the best they could as every parent does. But Mac could see that Stella sometimes seemed to be far of in dreamland.

"Stella!" She did not seem to hear him. "Stella!" he shook her lightly. She turned to him. "Stella what are you thinking about?" "Nothing." "What are you really thinking about?" "Well you know I am thinking what they kids might thing about us. I mean if they really think that we are good parents and do everything right. You know?" "I know what you mean. Stella but I think that we do not have to be afraid of the verdict later when they are older. We are doing everything we can. You haver to stop being so hard to yourself Stella. No one is perfect. And not every parent does everything right. Every person make mistakes." "Thank you." He pulled her into him. He sometimes had doubts if he was doing everything right. He just hoped he was. He hoped that Stella would stop thinking that she was failing.


	23. Happy family

Febuary 2003

Isabella was now a very active three year old girl who had just started kindergarden and was now going to the same kindergarden as her older brother Matthew. Only Andrew was going to Daycare now. Isabella liked to show off because she thought that she was a big girl now that she was going to kindergarden.

The normal routine had changed with the kids in kindergarden. Mac and Stella dropped Andrew of at Daycare first and then they brought Matthew and Isabella to Kindergarden and then went to work. It became and every morning routine and the kids and Mac and Stella liked it that way. They were able to drop their kids of themselves. Mac was glad that he was able to do it that way because he remembered the time where was a total whreck every morning after dropping Matthew of at Daycare in the beginning and then Isabella and Andrew in the beginning. It got better after a few weeks but it was hard. He was glad that he could go with her most of the time if he did not get a call early in the morning. It gave Stella some security too.

In the evening the family had fun at home and Matthew and Isabella always told stories from kindergarden or sang songs from kindergarden. Sometimes they would draw pictures and bring them home. Matthew drawed pictured too in Daycare, or at least he tried too. All in all they were a happy family.


	24. Andrew Dennis

May 2003

This month did not start of very well. In the beginning of this month Stella´s father Andrew Dennis had passed away after a stroke at the age of 63. It let Stella sink back into the whole she had been in about three and a half years ago when her paternal grandparents had passed away. Mac was worried about her and did not know if she would get as bad as she was the last time and would have to go to the hospital some day. Mac had called his parents and they agreed to take the kids for a few days. They would go to Daycare and Kindergarden from there. Mac´s parents only lived a few blocks away grom their house in Queens. Stella´s parents live in Queens, too.

"Stella!" Mac slowly entered the bedroom and found her rolled up in a ball lying on the bed. He slowly approached her and sat down on the edge of the bed. He slowly reches over to her and slightly touches her shoulder. "Stella!" "She slowly turns around and he can see that her face is tear stained. He can alos see the pain in her eyes. She slowly sits up and scoots over to Mac. She lets her head fall against his chest and lets herself be held by him. Mac pulls her into him as much as he can and strokes her back and head trying to calm her down.

After her tears have subsided after a while she pulls back a little. He gives her light kiss which she answers. "Do you want something to eat sweetheart?" "No. I cannot eat right now." "Stella you have to eat and drink something. You need to stay healthy. How about acup of herbal tea." "Alright." He helps her up from the bed and they walk to the kitchen. She sits down on a chair while he make a cup of herbal tea for her. When he is finished they return to the bedroom because Stella does not want to be anywhere else right now. Mac sits down on the bed with Stella in his arms sitting between his legs. She is holding her cup of herbal tea. Mac has his arms around her holding her.

"I hope he did not have pain when he died Mac." Stella speaks with a teary voice. She had given her cup to Mac and he put it on the nightstand. Mac turns Stella around a little in his arms. "Stella he did not really have to much pain. I talked to Hawkes." "Thank you." "You are welcome." She snuggled into his chest crying. Mac hoped that she would recover better then the last time.


	25. Crying

June 2003

Stella slowly started to recover from her fathers death in May, at least it seemed that way. The truth was that she was suffering as bad as after her grandparents death. She was almost completely devestated and even a little depressive. She tried her best to hide it from everybody, including Mac, but that was almost impossible. She could not hide it from Mac. He just knew her to well and was able to read her like a book. He knew that she was worse then everybody thought and she made everybody believe. She did not want them to know how bad she really is, because she did not want to seam weak infront of other people.

Mac knew thst he would have to trigger her feelibngs because he knew that she would be better if she would let it out once. They were sitting on the couch in the evening when he decided to give it a try. "Stellal!" "Yeah?" "I would like to talk to you." "About what?" "How are you holding up?" "I am OK Mac?" He put a hand under her chin and made her look at him. She tried to avoid his gaze but he would not let that happen. "Stella I know that you are strong but everyone has the right to show feelings. You do not have to hide them infront of me." She looked away trying to hide her tears from Mac, but he knew that kind of behaviour and pulled her into a hug. Stella allowed the tears to fall and cried into Mac´s chest. He just held her and let her cry.

Afer a while she started talking. "Why did he have to go already Mac?" "Hony I do not know." "I need him Mac." "I know. But no matter what he loved you very much." That only made her cry even more. Mac pulled her to him more trying to console her. He knew that he could not calm her down right now, because she needed time.

When she had calmed down a bit she pulled back from his chest and looked at Mac. "Are you better?" "A little." "It will take time sweetheart. Do not rush yourself." "Yeah. I just want to live me life like before." "You will in a while Stella." Mac was holding her hands and gave them a squeeze. He hoped to give her some of the well-needed strength that waya. He could see the pain in her eyes and puleed her into his chest again. A little while later he noticed that she seemed to be asleep.- He carried her to bed and joined her. He hoped that she would be able to recover easier then the last time.


	26. Pregnant again

August 2003

Stella wanted to get up one morning but felt dizzy right away. She knew that she was pregnant. Mac and the kids were already downstairs. She slowly got up and walked to the bathroom. When she had finished thetre she went downstairs to join her family. She gave each child a good morning kiss and then joined Mac in the kitchen. "Morning Mac!" He turned around andn saw that his wie had a light shade of blue in her face. The kids were in the livingroom and in the playpen, in eye sight. He walked up to her and gave her a kiss. "Are you alright Stella?" "Yeah." "You look a littleblue Stella." "I am alright Mac. Just a little out I guess." "Yeah." "The kids already had there breakfast Stella. You hungry?" "A little." After breakfast they got the kids and themselves ready and went to the Daycare to drop the kids of and after that they would drive to work.

When they were on their way to work, without the children, Mac decided to talk to her. "Stella could you be pregnant again?" "OK." "What?" "I am three months pregnant Mac. We are going to have our forth child in Febuary." Mac parked the car on the side on the road. "Is it true?" "Yes. Mac it is true." "Why did you not tell me?" It was just to much going on Mac." "I know." He leaned over and gave his wife a lovely kiss. Then he continued to drive to the lab. "I am happy Mac." "I am too sweetheart." When they walked into the lab the team was already there and when they saw them smiling the did not ask because they were happy that Stella could smile again after these sad weeks..

When they returned home in the evening they planed to talk to the children. They sat down on the couch with the kids. "Mom and Dad have to tell you that you will have a little baby brother or baby sister soon." "Whey?" asked Matthew. "I six months Matthew." "I want a sister mommy." "We will see." "I want a brother mommy" says Isabella. "We will see." The kids run of to play. Andrew is still to small to understand. "So that is nice. A boy and a girl." "I do not care as long you and the baby are healthly." "I know Mac." He pulled her zo him and gave her a kiss. He covered her hand on her belly and entwhined his fingers with hers. She leaned against him and enjoyed watching the children.

The next day Stella had her tree month chek-up and Mac would come with her. When they had dropped of the kids at the daycare they went to the doctor. They wanted to find out the sex of the baby. The doctor did a sonogram. "I am happy to tell you that you will have a second daughter." "Thank you." The doctor left the couple alone. "I guess the kids are going to have a little baby sister." "Yes they are sweetheart We are having a second daughter." "Are you happy Mac?" "Yes I am you?" He saw that Stella had tears streaming down her face. "Yes. Shortly before my father died in May I already had the fealing that I am pregnant again. I told my father that I suspected to be pregnant again and he said that it will be a girl. He was right." "Yes he was Stella." He pulled her into a hug knowing that her fathers word meant the world to her.


	27. Death of Mac s father

November 2003

Stella is now six months pregnant with her and Mac´s second daughter and forth kids are already really excited about it, except Andrew. But he would understand as soon as his sister is born. Stella is enjoying her pregnancy and Mac is happy to see her happy again. What she did not know is that Mac is hiding something from her. When she went to visit him in his office Danny and Lindsey were giving him their condolences and Stella heard it. "What is going on here?" She entered and Danny and Lindsey left. Mac took her hand and sat down on the couch with her. "My father died Stella." "How?" "Cancer." "Why did I now knowMac?" "Stella after your grandparents died you were so broken that I just could not tell you. I wanted to wait until you were yourself again. Then you noticed your pregnancy with Andrew and I did not want to destroy your happiness." "Why did you not tell me after Mac?" "You were happy and I wanted it to stay that way. Dad always played when we visited each other. They saw how you had suffered. They tried to protect you just like I and my siblings did Stella." "Why did you not tell me know?" "Your father died and I was afraid that you might be broken again like before. I did not want to put more stuff on you plate. You already had enough." "Mac!" "Stella I am doing what my father taught me. Protect your wife and children in any way you can. I did that as I thought it was for your best Stella. I am sorry. I did not tell you." "Mac I know that you were trying to protect me. After my grandparents died I was a mess and did not know if I would get over it, but I did. After my fathers death I was about to become a wreck again but I got over it too. But Mac please never keep somethinglike that from me again." "Depends how you are Stella." "Mac!" "Stella no. Only if it would not be to much for you." "Fine." "Good." Mac pulled Stella into a hug and she held him too. Both mourning the death of Mac´s father.


	28. Thinking of names

January 2004

Stella had a hard time believing that Mac would hide something like his fathers illness and death from her. That he would hide his fathers illness from her for such a long time. She knew that he had tried to protect her and could understand him somehow. Their second daughter and forth child would be born in one month. That way she could understand him even more.

Mac was overprotective of his family, of her and their children and would do everything in his man power to protect it. By now the whole family was excited about the little girl that would make its appereace soon.

She was starting to think of a name for their daughter but was not sure about it yet and did not want to tell Mac until she was totally sure about it. When he came home that day he found her sitting on the couch lost in thoughts. "Hey!" "Mac!" he leaned down to give her a kiss but she still seamed to be deep in thoughts. "What are you thinking about sweetheart?" "About the perfect name for our second daughter Mac." "Do you have an idea yet?" "Still thinking. I have an idea but I want it to be perfect before I tell you." "Alright. You tell me when you are ready." "I will Mac." He knew that she probably had a few on her mind already but she was still looking for the perfect one."


	29. Susan Mallory

Febuary 2004

Stella and Mac were at home playing with their chiildren, waiting for their forth child to arrive every day now. Suddenly Stella felt a pain in her lower abdomen. A pain, which she has felt three times before. She was starting to have contractions. She loohed up at Mac who could read her like a book. "Mac!" "Is it on its way?" "Yes." Mac called his mother who would watch the children during the time they were in the hospital.

When she arrived half an hour later the kids were still playing and Mac helped Stella into the car and drove to the hospital. It hurt Mac to see her in so much pain.

When they arrived at the hospital they were brought to a private room. Stella was trying to breakthe and walk against the contractions. Mac was at her side the whole time, trying to ease the pain as good as he could. "Mac!" "I am right here Stella." "The kids are with your mother?" "Yes. Sweetheart they are with my mother." He was holding her hand drawing circles on her aplm with his thumb. With his other hand he was massaging her back trying to get her to relax.

After about eight hours of contractions she was still not fully delated. With Matthew it had taken 32 hours. With Isabella it had taken 16 hours and with Andrew it had taken 20 hours. Mac hoped that it would be shorter then Matthew but he knew that each baby had its own pace. But he hoped that the time would be close to the time with Isabella and Andrew.

Three hours later she was able to have an epidural. She would be able to rest and to sleep for a few hours. She woped up five hours later to pain running thorugh her abdomen. Now the time for their daughter to arrive had come.

Two hours later their daughter made its appereance on the woprld. After Mac had cut the umbilical cord the doctors took Stem-cells from ti to freeze them for later medical treatsments like they had done with their three prior children, too. The nurse placed the little girl on Stella´s stomach. After a while she took her to clean and dress her. She then placed the little girl back in Stella´s arms. Both parents had tears in their eyes. Mac was sitting next to Stella on the bed and had his arm wrapped around her. "Susan Mallory!" "What?" "Her name. Susan Mallory. Susan after your sister Susan Monique and your grandmother. Mallory after my sister Audrey Mallory and my fathers mother Mallory." "Are you sure you want to name her that way Stella." "I am. You?" "Yes. I am. I just wanted to make sure." "So her name is Susan Mallory." "Yes Stella." He bowed his head and gave her a sweet kiss. "I love you Mac." "I love you Stella. I love you too Susan." Stella lied back against Mac´s strong chest to get some rest. Mac watched both of them sleep and was happy.


	30. Culture

March 2004

During the Day Matthew and Isabella were in Kindergarden and Andrew was in Daycare. That way Stella had time to take care of Susan and herself. She could do things she liked to do and could tend to Susan, too. It was a relativ relaxing routine during the day. That way Mac had wanted it for her because she was still sore and weak.

Stella took walks and went to town to a café or went to Barnes & Nobles or to Borders Book Store to read books or went to a museum or she met with friends. She loved spending time with her young daughter and to have some leisure time but she also missed her work.

On Friday evening Mac talked to Stella after the kids were in bed. "How are you doing Stella? "I am alright." He looked at her and knew that there was more. "I miss dad Mac." "I know." "I mean it has almost been a year now but I still miss him." He looked at her and pulled her into a hug. "I know honey. He just left to early." "He did Mac." Somehow he knew that there was still more.

"Could it be that there is more on your mind Stella?" "Yeah." She let out a sigh and pulled back a little from Mac´s embrace. "I miss spending time with you alone. Just you and me." "I do too honey." "I miss us going to the museum, to a café, the theatre, the opera, the bookstore together. I miss us spending time together alone, without the kids." He could read it in her face that she really missed it and that she was longing for that again.

"Stella you are right that we did not do that in a very long time." "Mac!" "What?" "We have not done that since dad died." "I know." "Why did we not do it for almost a year." Mac took Stella´s hands in his. "Sweetheart you were devestated and sad after your father died. You seemed to be able to cope better when you were close to the children. I did not want to pull you away from that source of happiness which you needed so much during that time."

"I know that I was a wreck and that the having the kids close by helped, too but it would have been nice." "Stella you were not a wreck. You were grieving your fathers death and you were sad. That does not make you a wreck. Do not ever say that again. Alright?" "Yeah." She leaned her head against his wide chest trying to relax. "I will think of a way for us to spend time as a couple again. Just you and me. Do not worry about it I will handle it." "Thank you." Mac just held her while she rested against his chest and after a while he knew that she was asleep in his arms.


	31. Grandmother Caroline

May 2004

Susan is now four months olf and has started to go to Daycare. Stella was working aprt-time again. She and Mac spend time as a couple on one afternoon in the week. They went to museums, a café, a restaurant, the bookstore Barnes & Nobels or Borders, to the park, met with friends. Sometimes the went to the theatre in the evening or the opera. They both loved cultural and historical things very much.

In the office Mac had received and very decestating phone call. He was now on his way back home with the kids. Stella was preparing dinner and he went to help her. After dinner and when the children were in bed Mac joined Stella on the couch.

"Stella I need to talk to you." She looked at him "OK." "Stella I recived a phone call today from your sister Sophie." "Mac what is it? You are scaring me?" She looked at him panicked. He covered her hands with his one hand and wrapped his other around her shoulders. "Your grandmother Caroline has died." She looked at him unbelievingly. "Mac you are lying. I am going to call Sophie." He held onto her when she wanted to get up. She looked at him knowing that he told the truth. She shook her head trying to hide her tears but Mac would not allow her to hide them.

He pulled her into his chest allowing her to cry. She was still shaking her head unable to really believ it. It was hard for her to grasp it. She slowly let the tears fall into Mac´s shirt. After a while the tears turned into heartbreaking sobs which wrecked her body. Mac rubbed her back and rocked her back and forth trying to calm her down. About half an hour later she had fallen asleep in Mac´s arms.

The next mornign the realisation his Stella when she got up. She met Mac in their master bathroom. "Morning!" "Hey Mac!" He wrapped an arma round her shoulder and lightly kissed her shoulder. "Last night was not a dream right?" "I am sorry honey it was not." She nodded sadly and just leaned into his embrace. He could see that it was still hard for her to grasp. "Do you want to go to work todayß" "I think I will go. But I want to keep the news between us." "OK. You do not have to go Stella." "Please Mac. I cannot stay home it will make me go crazy." "Alright."

He tightened his embrace on her and kissed her temple. He knew that it would not be of a lot of use to force her to stay home. "Ok. We will both go to work and we will see how ti goes. If it is to much for you, you can go home or go lie down in my office." "Thank you." He just hoped that she is as alright as she thinks she is.

During the day at the lab Mac kept a close eye on Stella and could see that it was taking its toll on her. On their way home with the kids he could see that it was hard for her to hold up her façade. At their house the kids went to play and he brought her to the master bedroom. "I will take care of the kids. How abour you get some rest." "Mac…" "Stella it will be alright. I just want you to rest and let me take care of the kids." "Alright" "I will check on you later.

After the kids were in bed he went to check on his wife. "Hey!" She was sitting against the headboard of their bed where Mac joined her. He wrapped an arm around her and held her tight. "I just cannot really understand it yet, that she passed away." "I know. Stella she loved you and you loved her, too. You have a family that took you into their family and that loves you very much just like you love and loved them. She will always be watching you honey. Do not forget that Stella." "I will not Mac."

She was grieving and he hoped that she will be recovering and will be happy again soon.


	32. Trust

July 2004

Stella was sometimes the old one again now and Mac was happy about that because he hated to see her sad and broken. He also knew that she had scars from before she moved in with her foster parents and from when her father and three grandparents died. He knew that her being well could easily backfire when one of her nightmare would resurface.

Aside from that they are a happy family who enjoy their time together. After crisis that was what Stella needed, her family and mac did everything he could to let that happen. When he and Stella are alone he could still notice her change. She would drop her mask almost immediately when their children were not in the room. Mac noticed it by her body language and he could also read it in her eyes. She then still looked hurt and pained. It hurt him to see her that way but it also worried him. She made everyone believe that she is stron and everyone believed it, except himself. He knew her and mostly knew how she was feeling. Mac knew that he had to do something to help her cope.

In the evening he decided to talk to Stella. "Honey I do not want you to freak but we need to talk." "What is going on Mac?" He stroked her hand to clam her down. "Relax. I just want to talk Stella!" she looked up at him a little suspicious but she still nodded. "Everyperson needs time to recover from a loss or a trauma." "What are you saying Mac?" he wrapped an arm around her and with his other hand took her hand in his.

"Stella when people loose someone close to them it is normal that they are totally sad and in shock. But agter a while they mostly are able to talk about it and confide in other people. Honey talk to me." "I cannot Mac." He knew that she still had scars and traumas from her early childhood and that her real parents gave her away, left her with anxiety. Whenever she had to bury a family member the anxiety came back to haunt her.

Mac cuppd her face with his hands and made her look at him. "Do you trust me Stella?" "With everything I have." "Them trust me to catch you when you fall sweetheart." She knew he is right, that he would be there. He had been there when her father and other grandparents had died but there was something and that something stoped her from trusting him completely now. "Mac honestly I would like to trust you ro cath me when I fall but there is something that is stopping me from doing that. I do not know what. I am confused Mac. I am sorry."

"You do not have to be sorry honey. It has not been easy. Take your time and tell me what is confusing you." She looked at him and knew that he would be there with her every step of the way but she was not able to voice it right now. Mac waited patiently for her to talk stroking her back trying to coax her to talk. He knew that she needed time and he would give it to her but he was still very worried about her.

"I do not know why I am confused but I am." "Stella I want to help you but you have to talk to me." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Mac noticed ti and tightened his hold on her. "Everything came back. After grandma died everything came back. I began to dream again. I dreamed of that day years ago when I was in the orphanage and every week people came by to pick up children. They always took other children but never me. I had to wait six long years. Why did I have to wait six long years Mac?" He could feel his shirt going damp and knew she was grying.

"Stella I do not know why you had to wait that long. I do know that you had the best family you could wish for. They adopted you because they love you. From then on you had the best family and childhood you could wish for. "I know." Mac just held her and stroked her back trying to calm her down. Moments later her crying turned into sobs that wrecked her body. It tore his heart apart to see her that way. She seemed broken and lost at the moment.

After about half an hour she noticed that her breathing and evened out and knew that she was sleeping. He carefully lied down with her in his arms making sure to not lose contact because that would make her stir. He covered them with a blanket and closed his eyes himself.

The next morning when he woke up he noticed that Stella was not in bed anymore. He got up and after he got dressed he went downstairs and found his wife and children in the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around her from behind. "Morning Stella!" "Morning Mac!" She turned around in his arms and kissed him. He released his hold on her and helped her with breakfast. "Are you alright?" "I am fine Mac." He looked at her and somehow knew that she was better but not alright.


End file.
